Another restless night…
Another restless morning, noon, and night…
I can’t get Pennsylvania Boy out of my head to save my life…
Damn, it’s been awhile…
://end two and a half weeks without internet.
After I got released from psychiatric hospital in 2008, my brain operated in a very confusing manner. I could no longer focus, I could no longer read book after book like when I was younger. I read through two full libraries in my middle school days…
Its something that has severely depressed me for years. Today, I finished my 3rd book in the last month.
On to the next one :)
It feels so fucking good.
Wow … I’m in tears…
As many of you might know, I suffer from a mental illness (bipolar type I, PTSD, etc). Sometimes it’s so fucking hard to push myself to the next day… but it’s not as bad as when I was a teenager.
I spent over 2 months attempting suicide when I was 15. I was hospitalized for overdose(s) over 75 times… one of the last ones ended with my little sister finding me, I was covered in my own blood, barely breathing, and she saved my life by calling 911… and it’s very difficult to explain why I thought this was a solution, painful mostly, but I can sum it up to: the words and actions of (some) humans, inflict pain and leave scars so deep, that no matter how many long showers or lengthy walks or even time, cannot erase, and it’s very hard to force the thought that *maybe* the next day will be better.
This TEDTalk has brought me to tears because this speaker has encouraged me to put the next foot forward, to strive to beat the next day. And the feeling deep inside of my brain that I feel right now, is so beautiful and so encouraging, I couldn’t not share this, in hopes that perhaps one of you needed that encouragement as well, because we each have something incredibly wonderful and unique to offer this world. And in the words of my dear friend, Noah Mickens, it is our duty to offer it.
Mad love to the stranger who posted this on facebook.
With this, I bid you all a wonderful evening and a goodnight.
OOOOOHHH GOOD NEWS
My bestfriend in NYC sent me a replacement MacBook, so there’s gonna be much more awesome shit headed your way!
Like, I’m gonna be able to make gifs again and edit photos cos my screen isn’t gonna be busted in. Wooooo!